An "awe-inspiring memior and self-help guide."
Lynn Toler was, if anything, an achiever. At thirty-three, after Harvard, Penn Law School, and a decade as a successful lawyer, she was elected to a municipal judgeship-a black woman in a mostly white community, in a district where the opposing party held a 5:1 majority. Once on the bench, responsible for adjudicating the countless minor squabbles and foibles to be found among her town's residents, she realized that the teachings of one person in particular helped her when dealing with those offenders. That person was her mother, a woman who possessed remarkable grace, strength, and simple insight.
Toni Toler's "rules" for life were forged in growing up the daughter of a poor teen mother, and through a long marriage to a husband who suffered mental illness and alcoholism. The story of how she transcended these circumstances, and raised Lynn and her equally successful sister, provide the grounding for Lynn's story of her life, her family, and her career. The worldview that shaped these rules is based on learning how to conquer anger and become immune to insult. Lynn shows how the mindset of "a black woman who knew how to make things work" taught her the power of knowing how to manage one's emotional business—lessons that this book offers in wrenching stories written in spare and graceful prose. My Mother's Rules is an unforgettable memoir that will captivate readers with its illustrations of how to rise above the most difficult circumstances and find peace and success in life.
Title My Mother's Rules
Subtitle A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius
Author Lynn Toler
Audience 01 General / trade
Title First Published 2007
Nb of pages 182 p.
Publication Date 2007
Main content page count 182
Dimensions 6 x 9 in.
Weight 11 oz.
List Price $15.00
Nb of pages 194 p.
GTIN13 (EAN13) 9781572846180
Main content page count 194
List Price $9.99
My Mother's Rules Presskit ( pdf 147 KB )
“Easy-reading prose and a no-nonsense approach will carry readers through this collection of anecdotes and rules for healthier living from first time author and
Listening to Lynn Toler hand down judgments as judge on television's popular syndicated series Divorce Court, you would think she has always been a master of her emotions, and a brave
My Mother's Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius reveals the complicated life of 47-year-old Toler, a Harvard graduate who struggled with fear and
Toler makes Divorce Court work by employing her past experience as an Administrative Judge in Cleveland Heights Municipal Court. She also uses lessons she learned from her mother, whos
Throughout Toler's life, from her childhood with a manic-depressive father to her role on Divorce Court, she's used her mother's guiding principles. The book lays out 43 principles to
I wrote a book, My Mother's Rules. It's a humorous memoir. My mother had a way of looking at life that I found very practical and meaningful. Whenever I was on the bench and
I came across this title on Amazon's recommended books and after reading a sample of it on my Kindle, had no issue in paying for the rest. I personally have my own set of 'rules'
"She has written a book called 'My Mother’s Rules' based on the wisdom of her mother and because of the pride she has for her... It has been heralded by critics and readers as an 'amazingly honest' book of life lessons."
Judge Lynn Toler: Court ruler dishes out 'mom's rules'
-Kenya M. Yarbrough Feb 1, 2007
"Lynn Toler, author and judge of the TV show Divorce Court, was the featured guest of the nonprofit Embrace Girls organization, which offers life
TV judge helps empower girls over tea
-Miami Herald Apr 8, 2007
Reader comment | May 6, 2011, Debra Gatlin
Judge Lynn Toler is great. I don't have kids, but I find her book very interesting and insightful in how to rise above difficult circumstances and find peace in life situations. I think this is one of God's little helpers to get over the crazy in us.
Reader comment | Jun 21, 2008, Lynn D
This book is a MUST READ if you or someone you love is having trouble controlling your emotions! It offers simple steps you can take to manage your emotions. Lynn give's excellent examples as to how to apply these steps where as you could start seeing immediate results if you desired to do so. Before reading this self- help book, I felt I was headed for a nervous breakdown. When facing stress/life or having to make a decision, I would go through a small panic attack. I thought that if...more people only knew how missed up inside I was, they would run. I was self distructing inside. I was my worst enemy, yet I would told myself it was someone else fault for making me feel a certain way. I was the biggest emotional wimp. I would avoid, hide, or run. I wasn't crazy, I was broken hearted. I've been through so much that everything seemed to start unravelling. I was an honor student, but I was an emotional and mental wreck. A counselor WAS NOT able to do what this ONE BOOK HAS. After reading this book, I feel great and realize I am normal! I feel so free!!! I just needed to get my mind right and my keep what I was feeling in prospective. I now have NO trouble controlling how I feel and response to life and issues. IT TEACHES COPING SKILLS. I was able to immediately apply what I learned in this book to what I was going through. I have re-gained my self-esteem/confidence. I focus on "right now". I am now control my emotions I don't allow my emotions to control me. Buying and reading this book was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. It's a great investment!
Reader comment | Nov 27, 2007, Maurice L. Adams
Ms. Toler: I do not often watch the early after noon reality TV shows, but I just happen to be off one weekday afternoon and caught a segment of your Divorce Court show. I was very impressed with you how you handled your cases your demeanor and presence and how you arrived at a fair decision. You really knocked my socks off when you came out of the chambers while the credits were rolling - before the show ended and expressed your concern to the defendant after she muttered that she was not...more going to pay the judgement. That did it for me. You are truly down to earth and for real. Out of curiosity, I did a google search and discovered that you wrote a book called 'My Mother's Rules.' I also listened to the related sound bite interview of you. I am in the process of purchasing your book. Ironically, the subject matter in your book touches on my field of work-mental health. I have worked in Detroit Michigan as a community mental health MSW pychiatric social worker / therapist for the past 28 years. I am looking foreward to reading your book and I am now a fan of your show. When you get a chance, me an email just to let me know that you received this email note. Take care of yourself and keep doing what you do so well! Maurice
Reader comment | Aug 27, 2007, PATRICK
GOODDAY JUDGE LYNN TOLER, WELL, LET ME START BY SAYING THAT I LOVE YOUR SHOW SO MUCH THAT IF I DO MISS IT,I FEEL SO BAD.I LIKE THE WAY YOU APPROACH YOUR CASES,ESPECIALLY THOSE SOFT,ECHOING AND RESOUNDING WORDS AND EXPRESSION YOU DISPLAY WHEN IN SESSION, YOU ARE A GIFT IN YOUR FAMILY AND I MUST SAY THAT GOD DID SPEND SOME EXTRAL TIMES CREATING YOU CUZ YOU ARE GREAT,I MEAN THE GREATEST JUDGE I HAVE EVER SEEN,ESPECIALLY AT YOU AGE.KEEP IT UP, I DO APPRECIATE YOUR JOB.
Reader comment | Aug 14, 2007, Kenny Stephenson
I have not read the book but would like to tell Judge Toler that I think that she has a lot of class. And that she is the best and polite judge on the tv. I am a recent retired police officer and would have enjoyed coming in front of her court...not divorce court but municipal cout( I'm happily married for 18 years). Thanks for a great show and keep up the good work and she fairness that you show throughout your program. Kenny Stephenson
Reader comment | Aug 8, 2007, tiffany
Mrs. Toler I enjoy watching your show because I see you have a way with talking to people no matter how rude they are. I admire a strong sista who has a lot of love, care and wisdom to offer other people. Right now i see myself where you are sitting someday but its hard though. My biggest problem is that I don't know how to talk to people when I'm upset or don't like them. Thats the hardest thing for me. My attitude however has changed somewhat since I've been in the military, I've had no...more choice but to change it a little anyways. I'm really trying to change for the best, I've realized its not that important to cuss people out to make me feel better. That shows how ignorant I am for doing something like that. Tact is more helpful to me now than it ever was. Its just amazing to see the success of using it to people you like and even people you don't like. Mrs. Toler I actually see myself doing your profession in a few years although I haven't started college yet. It's really hard by being in the military these days when the military takes up 95% of your time. I'm 23 and single with no children so that should give me some time to get myself together further. Sista keep doing what you do and pray for me to conquer my trials as I will do for you. Thanks so much!!!!
Reader comment | Aug 4, 2007, Don Jalivay
I would like to see some of the previous epsiodes on the net. Is it making? It's one episode I would like for my wife to see. The spoiled black woman married to the prior military hispanic guy
Reader comment | Jul 23, 2007, Lucille
IS IT POSSIBLE TO GET AN AUTOGRAPH. I HAVE READ YOUR BOOK AND I WATCH YOU EVERYDAY. I AM AN ADMIRER IOF YOURS. I AM A 71 YEAR OLD SENIOR THANK YOU, LUCILLE
Reader comment | Jul 17, 2007, ernese townes
Hi judge Lynn Toler I watch your show every day I wish men and women would learn what real marrage is about it holy and God demand that we keep it holy thank you for your spiritual side (Gen)2.24 thank you an God bless you.
Reader comment | Jul 13, 2007, janet fatimah babalola
Dear judge, I am so happy to write this morning. i love watching your show and i all pray to God to give you the strenth to help you help the people that has marrital probles.judge you have a good heart like a mother from Africa whom always wants to see her children enjoyed there marriages.you see things diffently and you reason like African mum, you are so patient so respectful,very pretty.me and my husband loves you so much,you are one of those peolpe i will love to meet.thank you and God bless. hope you will make it possible for us to meet you.
Reader comment | Jun 26, 2007, ron
u r a wise and inner searching human and i am personally humble be your communication and awareness on divorce court. thank you for this understanding..
Reader comment | Jun 26, 2007, A.J. Thibodeaux
I think your a wonderful Judge and you make since out of everything that a relationship should be for couples. I use your show as inspiration along with my Bible to help me to be the best dad and husband I can be in this day and age. It gets hard, but I know that it is possible to achieve greatness.
Reader comment | Jun 5, 2007, elena
THIS IS A TRUE ROLE MODEL - admire this judge, she is a REAL WOMAN-strong, independent, logical and most importantly confident....i love watching her on TV
Reader comment | Jun 5, 2007, curtis morris
want to buy this book.
Reader comment | May 3, 2007, Lana Johnson
This is one of the most compelling and entertaining autobiographies I ever read. I felt as though Judge Toler was sitting next to me telling me of her fascinating journey. Everything flowed so beautifully. She is frank, outspoken and extremely funny. I have recommended the book to my three adult children, to my five sisters and to many other people. I always thought Judge Toler was a beautiful, intelligent, and classy person. After reading the book, I have a deeper respect and admiration for her. She is quite a woman!
Reader comment | Apr 26, 2007, Dedra Nash
I have recently married a man that I dated for seven years and we have 2 kids together and we each brought a child into the relationship. I struggle daily with my husband not communication with me. This is emotionally draining me. I tell him all the time that we need to talk and he does not. We used to laugh and talk together. I don't know what to do. I love my husband but I need HELP.
Reader comment | Mar 27, 2007, Carole Meredith
Ms Toler... I will certainly read your book. I just recently retired from the federal goverment after 40 years of service and now have the opportunity of watching your court sessions. I am impressed with your compassion and respect to all of the persons in the court. Most of all after 40 years of marriage I am learning new principles that I certainly wished that I had learned 40 years ago. Although, I am still married to the same man for over 40 years...I must admit that my three daughters...more are all divorced. Each daughter was in my opinion, a great woman, who cared about their husbands and children. But each one's marriage was emotionally abusive. I always felt...did I do all I could as a mother and mother-in-law. After really watching your court sessions and really listening to your educational and compassionate discussions, I realized that each of us in the marriage relationship carries individual and joint responsibilities that others including mothers and mother-in law don't have the power to hurt, hinder, or impair. I say this because although in many ways I tried to be fair, honest, and have true values... I was always told by the husbands that I had interfered with their marriages...but now I realize that my daughters and I had solid relationships and we always shared and talked from the time they were little girls. I was so happy when they found loving husbands but turned out the husbands immediately tried to isolate them from talking to me....and then the abusive behaviors began. I am truly convinced that if I had been exposed to the insight that you express everyday on your program...that I would have had an even more meaningful relationship with my husband...expecially in the earlier years...and that I could have benefited from your wisdom. Of course, I would have also been able to provide more assistance in teaching my daughters on what to avoid and run not walk away from men who have unaddressed issues. Its been a hard road...I now see three honorable women who are heading up households, taking care of their children by providing loving and unselfish support as well as being very successful in their careers. I have adopted many of your values as my own...its never too late to learn. Thanks for the opportunity to comment. Carole